Dysfunction in the Forgiveness Therapy Model could develop due to insufficient education or misunderstanding of the model. Freedman and Zarifkar (2015) assert that the role of the therapist is critical in educating clients about the forgiveness process as well as supporting clients in their decision and journey to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice and an active process of steps. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness takes time and the timing of forgiveness is important. Forgiveness is not condoning or excusing one’s offensive behavior. Finally, forgiveness is not reconciliation and this is where the dysfunction can lie. Reed and Enright (2006) assert that forgiveness that also leads to reconciliation with an abusive partner can have detrimental consequences if the other person has not changed and remains abusive.
In no way does empathizing or having compassion for the offender justify the
offender’s behaviors or relieve him or her of responsibility, it merely allows the client to see one’s offender in a new light and aids in promoting forgiveness. Wade et al. (2005) stated that true forgiveness, as we define it, requires the ability to see others in realistic terms (both the good and the bad)
Enright and Fitzgibbons (2000) warn that while encouraging the development of empathy in the work phase, therapists must assist clients with assessing a repeat offender’s trustworthiness to avoid encouraging vulnerability through inappropriate reconciliation. Thus, understanding that one’s offender is a human being who is worthy of respect is not the same as viewing the offender as worthy of entering into a renewed relationship.
Bergin (1988) notes that the final unit in the work phase is characterized by the client’s willingness to absorb the pain rather than pass it on to others. When individuals have long-lasting anger that is not expressed directly at their offenders or worked through in any way, other people in the person’s life may serve as scapegoats. Absorbing the pain allows the individual to own the pain rather than take it out on anyone else. In this way, he or she can be viewed as a generator of positive change in a family with a history of abuse.
Freedman and Zarifkar (2015) advise that the therapist can help the injured recognize that it is possible to move beyond the role of a victim and choose to respond from a position of strength, for example, not as a survivor, but as a thrive.
References
Bergin, A. E. (1988). Three contributions of a spiritual perspective to counseling psychotherapy, and behavior change. Counseling and Values, 33, 21–31.
http://dx.doi.org/10.1002/j.2161-007X.1988.tb00733.x
Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. (2000). Helping clients forgive: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. Washington, DC: APA.
http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/10381-000
Freedman, S., & Zarifkar, T. (2016). The psychology of interpersonal forgiveness and guidelines for forgiveness therapy: What therapists need to know to help their clients forgive. Spirituality in Clinical Practice., 3(1), 45–58. https://doi.org/10.1037/scp0000087
Reed, G. L., & Enright, R. D. (2006). The effects of forgiveness therapy on depression, anxiety, and posttraumatic stress for women after spousal emotional
abuse. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74, 920 –929. http://dx.doi.org/101037/0022-006X.74.5.920